I am not a queen!!!

I am not a queen.  I do not collect or chase crowns. I am not a princess. I don't expect others to do for me.  I am a titleholder.  What is the difference you ask?  The difference is much the same as night and day, apples and oranges, etc.  A true titleholder is just that.  She is "holding" the title for one year.  It is up to her to keep it safe and leave it even better than it was when she was awarded it.  Her year should be dedicated to the service of others, not herself.  I serve my title, it does not serve me.  In the past three title holding years I have made over 700 appearances largely on behalf of charities, sometimes on behalf of sponsors, but never, let me repeat, NEVER for pay, self promotion or profit.  In fact my title holding years are costly, but I am BLESSED as I have been doing this for some time, my reputation as a working titleholder is well established and I have generous sponsors for every facet of my budget.  I travel for free and have places to stay in most major markets.  I also travel for work and haul my crown and sash with me, setting up appearances in the places I will already be.  I have this down to a science and can do it in my sleep.  I understand that holding a title is definitely an honor and a privilege but what I understand far more deeply is that it is a job!  It's a job I take quite seriously!!!  The Executive Director/President/CEO, whatever the title of the system is my boss!  I answer to them and not only to them but to the people that live within the realm of my title.  I am the marketing and public relations arm of the pageant...a position I know well both in pageantry and in the "real" business world.  In the years I have been competing I have been so incredibly lucky to have had some amazing "bosses" within pageantry, all of which are still my dear friends.  That is so huge to me!  That means I've done my job and I've done it well.  Please understand I am not pointing this out to pat myself on the back.  With my blogs it is important to me to educate the public about pageantry.  What is it? Why is it?  There are many popular misconceptions about who we are and what we do.  Part of what I hope to accomplish is to clear these misconceptions. 

You have all heard the age old statement about not judging a book by its cover.  I ask you to always bear this in mind.  None of us know anything about the book without opening it and reading it...all the way to the end!  Even then we should not judge.  This is not our function on the face of this Earth.  I believe we are all quite familiar with exactly who has that job! Hint...He lives not only above us but all around us.  Judging a human being for the way they live their life is His job and only His.  Judging a pageant...well now that's an entirely different subject!

When you think I am working hard in the months preceding a pageant, and I assure you I am, it is when I am awarded the title that my work truly begins in earnest!  I pray to be so blessed in less than a month.  I am ready, willing and more than able to "hold" the title of Mrs. International 2013.  I will serve it, as I have served those before it, with everything I have to give and then I will dig even deeper and give more!  I am ready to be your Mrs. International 2013.  It is now up to the panel of judges.  God Bless them for there are some truly amazing ladies vying this year...over 70 of us!  Their task will be difficult at best and I don't envy them the job ahead! 

So here we go...home stretch time!  My adrenaline is rushing, my work on becoming a better version of me is cranked up, my appearance schedule is doubled and I am smiling from ear to ear!!!  This is what I live for!  This is how I serve a world that has been so good to me!  I do this for the children of St. Jude, Regen Morris in particular, the heart attack and stroke survivors that I work with through the American Heart and Stroke Association and each and every one of YOU!

Have a blessed day and do something today to put a smile on the face of someone you have never met!  

It's just around the corner!

One month from tomorrow I will leave the comfort of home and hearth to head to Chicago and attempt to become Mrs. International 2013!  Notice I did not say compete.  Even though it is a competition I don't view my being there as competing against anyone.  Instead I see this as an opportunity to become an even better me, to make new potentially life long friends, to step outside of the box, i.e., my comfort zone and to maybe learn a little more about who I am and why I am so motivated!  I burn to serve my title, St. Jude and Go Red specifically and charities in general!  It is such a large part of who I am!  You see I set a goal and that goal was to be able to serve to the best of my ability.  To me that means from the highest attainable pulpit...that of Mrs. International.  I have not reached that goal, therefore I cannot and will not quit.  I laughed as I typed the word quit as I was reminded of Fonzie trying to say words that went against his grain!  It doesn't flow well in the spoken or written word for me!  It is not now nor has it ever been an option.  One of the more wonderful things about being a bit older is that I now know that I am not competing against anyone else.  I don't feel the need to discredit others or play mind games...although I never did...even in my younger days!  I am here for one and all now and will be there in a month to help anyone who needs it; to play big sis to the new gals coming in to keep them from feeling lost or maybe even insecure.  I can tell you that was how I felt last year walking into a room of incredibly beautiful and accomplished women that I had never met.  It is unsettling at best and destructive at worst.  I don't want anyone to experience that!  I have reached out in an attempt to help and have had my hand bitten twice already.  So be it.  I will continue to reach out and help where/when I can.  Bite me if you choose to, be my friend if you choose to.  It matters not.  You see I am not your competitor.  The judges will choose who they feel the best woman for the job is...period.  My hurting or helping you will not matter to them...but it matters exponentially to me.  I could not live with myself were I to leave you to flounder or try to harm you.  I am who I am.  I work hard and serve all.  I smile until it hurts and keep smiling.  I try to make everyone who comes near me feel special and loved...if only for a moment.  I am as God made me and I hope that I am found worthy of the title.  I can assure you that with me there is no hidden agenda, no artifice and I am 100% genuine!  I wish each and every one of the ladies the very best of luck!  Let's meet in Chicago and have an amazing week!  I can hardly wait!!! 

Wow!  What a ride May was!!!  I had the great fortune to not only be working quite often and in several cities but to also be able to make over 2 dozen appearances in my work cities, here in Las Vegas and in my other home town of Denver.  One of the things I love most about my job as a professional spokesmodel is that I am on the road quite often and am able to utilize that travel to also represent my title.  If you're a woman and reading this you'll understand how adept we are at multi-tasking!  If you're a man, I'm sorry, this is probably written in a foreign language!  ;-) 

I am one of those people who not only delights in having a VERY full plate but who performs best with one.  Case in point, right now I'm listening to a book on tape while I type this and have three other open windows on my computer switching back and forth.  Time management is not only a well developed skill, but a really fun game...to me at least!  This skill was taught to me by my more than incredible Mom who would sometimes work three jobs in day to take care of home and hearth.  She never complained and always had a smile on her face and a ready hug!  She is a woman who has always led by example and I endeavor to be as like her as possible!  However, I digress...

I was able to make some appearances VERY close to my heart this past month...pun intended!  May saw both the St. Jude black tie gala and The Heart Ball for the American Heart Association.

There were also golf tournaments, speaking engagements, television and radio spots as well as articles that I wrote on pageantry and my mission within the same published.  It was quite a whirlwind that has a long lasting smile plastered on my face! 

What's next?  This month has even more appearances calendared.  One of the highlights is that I am going to be singing the National Anthem at the June 22 Reno Aces baseball game.  Aside from the singing part, I am most excited because I have over 20 friends and family members who are going to be attending including an aunt and uncle that are traveling from Missouri to spend their 60th wedding anniversary with me and our family at the game!  I am beyond honored that they are choosing this as their anniversary destination and cannot wait to see them!

Until the next time, have a blessed day and seize every opportunity to make someone smile! 

XO

Answering questions and clearing misconceptions...

Often I am asked about the money we make or the prizes we win as a part of pageantry.  If I were a rude person I would laugh loudly and derisively at these questions!  As I am not, I answer them as gracefully and graciously as possible.  It is up to each queen as to how she serves her title.  My title holding years are dedicated to the service of charities.  As such, I would never even consider charging for an appearance!  If I were to do that, it would negate my being there as it would take from the cause instead of giving to it.  This is true for most of us.  Each title holding year ends up costing the title holder in the $20,000.00 plus range.  We have entry fees, program ads, wardrobe for competition, photo sessions, make-up artists, hair stylists, coaches, appearance wardrobes, travel expenses, etc., that have to be paid for.  Back when I started competing, when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, obtaining financial sponsors was reasonably easy.  These days people are still kind and generous enough to sponsor goods and services, but checks are rarely if ever given in this more than difficult economy!  Therefore this $20,000.00 comes directly from the queen and her family.  Contrary to popular belief not all titleholders are independently wealthy...in fact most aren't.  We don't do this to make money or financially profit.  We do it because the desire to serve burns within in us.  We must do this. We have no choice. 

Prizes are another funny!  I have been asked literally hundreds of times "What do you get if you win?"  My answer is always the same.  I get a very high platform from which to serve.  I get people to open their hearts and their check books for amazingly worthy causes.  I get a voice that is heard the world round.  Then they look askance at me and say, "No really, what kind of prizes?".  I can honestly say that I don't know!  It has never occurred to me to ask nor do I really care.  What I am interested in is winning to further the cause specifically of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Go Red for Women and generally all charities.  If there are prizes well then it will be like a little Christmas!  If there are not, then that's just fine too!  My prizes are already in place.  I have an incredible husband, a healthy stepson, a wonderful family and friends who love and support me in all I do!  I am blessed beyond measure and happy just to be able to do what I do with the care and kind encouragement that all of you supply! 

Happy Monday everyone!  Today is the beginning of a new week and provides even more opportunity to get out there and do good for others!!!  Carpe Diem!

This is dedicated to those that I love with more gratitude than words can express!

If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.---Alex Noble

I am an incredibly blessed woman.  Don't get me wrong, I have my struggles just like anyone else.  I have sleepless nights fraught with worrying about one thing or another.  I have moments during the day when I just shake my head.  However, through it all, I have the love and support of a network of people that truly take my breath away and leave me wondering exactly what it was in me that finds me worthy of such individuals?  I have a husband who not only supports what I do, but encourages me in every endeavor that I undertake.  He sacrifices family time for me to serve other families.  He sacrifices me cooking a meal for him so that I may serve a meal to those in need.  He sacrifices vacations with me for me to travel with my title.  He does all of this and far, far more without thought of self or complaint.  Because of his love and support I am able to truly serve.  I have a family, some with related DNA, some without, that are there for me at every turn!  They have traveled far and wide to be by my side whenever I have needed them or just to support me.  They go out on a limb to aid and encourage me to do all that I can.  They selflessly take time from their own lives to quietly stand behind the scenes just in case I need them.  Just in knowing that they are there I can reach heights heretofore unseen.  I can go forward with absolute confidence just because they love me.  I have a pageant family that truly humble me and make my jaw drop with awe at their care of and for me!  These people are there for me every moment of every day with love, advice, words of encouragement, coaching, motivation, did I say love?, comfort, an arm about my shoulders and enough wind beneath my wings to make me soar higher than any woman has ever been able to soar. 

In the past few weeks I have been blown away by some things that have been told to me.  The leading quote for this blog pretty much says it all and my hopes and dreams are directly related to the prayer that I can positively impact even one life.  In doing that I feel I have served my purpose and not wasted the gifts that God has bestowed upon me.  I received a call out of the blue from a gentleman deeply steeped in the pageant world telling me that because of title holders such as myself he is proud to be a part of pageantry.  I could not believe my ears and my heart swelled with, dare I say it, pride.  Not the sin of pride but the knowledge that I am doing what it is that I've set out to do...I am helping.  I am making a difference.  Then, a different gentleman, one that I consider not only a friend but a HUGE part of my family, one who knows pageantry inside and out, told me much the same.  He said things to me that of course made me smile from ear to ear but then made me drop to my knees in deep and abiding gratitude.  I would call out the names of both of these incredible people, but they are not about recognition.  They gave their words of love and support in the same way I have dedicated my life to serving...because they must.  Because it is just a part of who we are. 

Each day I wake I burn to make a difference.  People ask me all the time how I have been able to make over 500 appearances as Mrs. Nevada International 2012 and Mrs. Southwest International 2013.  Of course time management and a daily plan is an integral part of that but the prevailing reason is that it is who I am...all the way from the inside out.  This is something I must do.  I could no sooner stop than I could stop breathing and live.  To reach the pinnacle of my world, the title of Mrs. International 2013, would be the culmination of a life spent in service.  It would not only be a dream come true, but a life's mission completed.  I would serve this title with even more than I have served those that came before it.  If I have any regrets, and I do try to live my life without them, it is that I didn't find the International system until this point in my life.  However, I am here now...and am here to stay!

I realize I am a bit all over the place in my writing today but my head and my heart are so very full!!!  I am beyond grateful for my family, friends, support system and the ability to serve and make a difference.  I am beside myself in finding out that I am indeed doing so. 

Thank you ALL for all that you do, but most especially for your love.  In conclusion I will end this in the same way it began:  I am an incredibly blessed woman!!!

'March'ing into April!

The past month has been an absolute whirlwind of activity, family and friends!  In the early part of the month I had the opportunity to once again work NASCAR...insane hours, extreme weather (40 degrees and raining one day, 70 and sunny the next) and some of the most wonderful down to earth people ever born!  Many memories were created and some old friendships regained! 

Then, I had the most amazing surprise which led to being able to hand out another surprise!  My two very best friends (since high school!) who are actually my sisters without shared DNA, cooked up a scheme to bring me into Sacramento undercover to surprise my mom (who is their adopted mom as well!) for her 70th birthday on St. Patrick's Day!  We not only surprised her but she just folded right in front of our eyes.  It was a truly special moment for all of us and a weekend full of love, laughter and the things that only life long friends can share and laugh at.  These two women are such a huge part of my heart and soul.  I can't imagine life without them by my side through thick and thin! 

My husband's birthday was the next day, but being the amazingly loving and supportive man that he is he felt it was best that I was with Mom and "The Girls"!  He is incredible and I am blessed!  Following Ed's special day was my brother's 50th!  March is tough on the pocket book!

Last week was booked solid with appearances and sponsor activity!  The highlight of the week was the Twinkle Toez Princess Party for young ladies with special needs.  We brought them in, gave them crowns and sashes and then had stations where they could have their hair, make-up and fingernails done, decorate cookies, do arts and crafts, learn dances and learn how to walk like a "Princess".  The Las Vegas community title holders came out in full force!

This Friday my husband and stepson arrive in LV for 9 days of Spring Break and poolside fun!  That doesn't mean that I get to rest my crown and sash the whole time, but I will get to have them by my side which will make my smile even larger than it already is!  I've held the appearances down to five (so far!) while they're here!  I am so glad they love this as much as I!

April has me on the road for as few as five states and as many as seven for appearances that will benefit St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, The American Heart and Stroke Association and many, many others!  I will check in as often as possible!  Until then may your lives be blessed and beyond happy!

XOXO

When family means more than anything else...

When a person is raised as I was wherein family means more than anything else, they are truly blessed.  When I was a child, I was fortunate to be raised not only by/with my immediate family, but by/with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and assorted other family members who sometimes were not related by blood but were part of my family nonetheless.  Now that I am grown and have a family of my own, the lessons learned as a young girl have made my family so very close.  This is a bit of a double edged sword!  In today's economy we do what we must to keep our families moving forward.  Sometimes this means I am in Las Vegas or on the road and 'my men' (Hubby and Son) are in Denver and I miss them like crazy!  It's something we have all grown used to but still intensely dislike!  However, in order to provide what we need and what we want to give to our son we both work.  I think most families these days are in this situation which makes it a bit easier.  Moreover, it teaches our son by example that we must work and be contributing members to society.  We also work into our family life my busy appearance schedule.  The fun part of that is that they make a lot of my appearances with me when it is appropriate for them to do so.  Once again, this gives us the blessing of being able to teach Aidan by example to be philanthropic and he loves it!  In addition to Edward and I being able to lead by deed, I guess the good news is that if I am fortunate enough to be crowned Mrs. International, 'my men' and I are already used to me being on the road!  Remember, it truly isn't about the amount of time we get with those we love, it's about the quality of that time!  God Bless!

When Life Hands You Lemons???

The venerable "they" always say 'When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.' What "they" forget to tell you is without the sugar (or in the case of a lifetime pageant gal, Splenda), the lemonade that is made will be quite bitter indeed!  Another long time pageant gal and I learned this lesson the hard way this past week.  We gave in to the white noise and allowed ourselves to drop to a level that neither of us ever should have.  Unfortunately, this happened on a very public level and the far reaching ramifications are yet to be seen.  All I/we can do at this juncture is learn from our mistakes, apologize to all affected by our childishness and move forward having learned an incredibly valuable lesson!  Yes, at least in my case, you can in fact teach an old dog new tricks!!!  ;-)  I am quite happy to say, however, that for at least me even though the experience was pretty horrid I am viewing it as pretty wonderful!  I learned some things about myself that can only make me a better woman and an even better title holder.  I am only human and perfection may be a loose goal but is always accepted as not being an attainable one.  I wouldn't want to ever think I was perfect as it is our imperfections that make us the complete individuals that we are.  Each day, in every way, I learn to not only embrace my imperfections, but celebrate them and any experience, whether negative or positive, that I can learn from!  Thank you to all of you for your never ending love and support!  It is because of you all and your kindnesses that I can climb back out of any moment of darkness into the bright and shining light!  Much love to you!!!